My anniversary just gone. I've appeared to Justin only when he needs me most. And I still don't understand why nothing has happened. I've been following and guiding Justin, and it hasn't been easy. He'd get mad, and upset about my death. I'd lay next to him, unable to sleep, and stare at him. My mind rarely connects to his, and I would try so hard, I would pass out.
I went over what the angel said to me, as I tried to sleep, but couldn't.
'Be careful, and pray'
Justin and me always prayed together before we slept, and now neither of us do, after my death. I got out of bed, and knelt on my knees, and prayed.
"Lord, please help Justin. Make him happy again. Let him believe in you again. He needs his faith back... Hi mom." I added, smiling, knowing she was watching me, and I could hear her soft chuckle.
"Nice of you to think of me." she answered.
"You know me, I'm a nice person." and I broke down to tears.
"Soon...Kiesha, soon" her voice echoed around the room, and I went back to sleep, next to Justin.
"Justin man, wake up. We're going out. We got something to show you." Trace shook Justin, totally going through me.
"Trace, it's way too early." Justin grumbled.
"At least you remember my name. I ain't spoken to you in ages!" Trace whined.
"I've only just come to terms with living back here. I haven't got time to socialise." Justin defended himself.
"But you do, Justin." I told him. I wished he would try to get on with his life.
"You're doing well, J. Dang, I miss her cooking!" he sighed.
'Cheek, he only liked my cooking!' I thought, laughing quietly.
"Get up. J.C is downstairs."
I went downstairs, following Trace, listening in on his conversation with J.C, a very good friend of mine.
"How's he doing?" J.C asked, his face grim.
"Seems alright, but you can never tell the truth in his feelings."
"Kiesha, I hope you're watching Justin." J.C whispered, as Trace walked away.
'I am, J.C. More than you know it.' I thought loudly in my head.
I went back upstairs to check on Justin, hearing him in the bathroom. I couldn't help myself to have a very tiny weeny glimpse. I opened the door and walked towards the shower. I stopped as Justin turned the shower off and began to pull back the shower curtain. Justin pulled it back, screaming, and I couldn't help but scream, then laugh, as he slipped and fell out, banging his head on the floor. I was by his side in an instant.
"Justin, you okay?" I asked, as I lifted his head into my lap, stroking his hair.
"You scared the crap out of me, standing right there."
I laughed, embarrassed. I don't think he got why I was standing right there, and I think he realised, and he began to laugh.
"You're still a freak, K." he laughed even harder, trying to cover himself up.
I noticed him becoming fidgety. I snatched the towel skipping away in the bathroom. The door opened, and went straight through me.
"Justin, you alright?" J.C asked slightly frantic.
"Get out, dumbass. I'm naked...but I'm alright. Thanks for caring." he answered, shooing J.C out.
"Give it to me, Kiesha." he asked, but instead he came to me, taking it, pinning me against the door. He took the towel from my hands, wrapping it round his middle.
"Ain't like I haven't seen it before." I said, glancing down.
"I'm sure you see it everyday." he grinned, a bit too much, making me feel uncomfortable.
"Well...not all the time." I defended, smiling to see him laugh so much in a day, actually the first since my death.
"How come you're here?" he asked, opening the door.
"Not excited to see me opaque?"
He turned to me looking upset.
"Sorry, I like to save our moment and remember it."
"I know. You sure you're fine? You hit your head hard."
"I'm fine...K?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you know why yet that you're still here watching me?"
"No, not yet. I prayed for the first time...in a long time, and it felt good. I felt refreshed afterwards."
"God ain't in my good books, yet."
"He made it possible for me to be here." I said, gratitude washing over me.
"For how long, ay? I see you about once a month, if I'm lucky." He spat back, angry.
"Justin, what I've realised is that I see you when you are at your point of an emotion. Angry, sad, whatever. Today you laughed."
"I didn't." his voice sounding like a small boy.
"You did, and that's when I appeared. When you show the meaning of a true feeling."
"You're so smart, K." he complimented me, wrapping an arm around my waist.
"I'm liking this whole angel thing."
"So, is this what its going to be like? You appear now and then for the rest of my life?" he said annoyed.
I can feel I'm about to go. Cutting Justin short, I capture his lips in a sweet kiss, and that's when I cried again.
