Lance Fan Fiction
When Best Friends Just Wasn't Enough
By Pezsgirl4ever
Chapter 1
I started working for 'NSYNC about two years ago. It was a dream come true. At first I was just a backup dancer and within six months I became Lance's partner in concerts and videos. Well that called for a lot of late nights. We have been known to be up 'till four in the morning going over moves and coming up with new ideas. We would practice a lot at his house and I would end up staying over night. He had this really big dance studio with mirrors on the walls, so it made it easy for us to practice. Seeing ourselves from different angles made it easier for us to tell if we were getting the moves right or not. Sitting looking out over his pool while the sun comes up is something I will never forget. I loved his pool and the way he had that part of the back yard set up. I guess that is one reason I ended up with this room. And I must admit I would watch Lance whenever he would go for a dip from my window seat of dreams. I would sit here some mornings and read or write in my diary. The window set was covered in dark blue velvet and I have been known to fall asleep sitting here as I would daydream about Lance and I. This is where I was sitting when Lance and Christy came storming out of the kitchen. The kitchen was right under my room and lead out to the yard. They were standing just out side my window.Now let me tell you about Christy and why I didn't like her. It had a lot more to do with the fact that she was with Lance and I wasn't. We all knew she didn't love him. It was all about the stuff he could buy her and all the places he could take her. I mean he would buy her clothes, rings, watches, and even got her a car. I heard her on the phone one day with a friend of hers. Christy was telling her about how she was going out with Lance Bass of 'NSYNC. Then she started telling her about all the stuff she would get from him and how she loved the attention she would get when they would go out. She never once said anything about how she felt about him or how Lance felt about her. Christy and I got into it a lot. Just being around her would get on my nerves and if it hadn't been for Lance I think I would have let her know what I thought of her. I was hoping that this would be the end of them and so I got as close to the open window as I could. It was hard to hear but I did catch some of the conversation.
"Why is it, that whenever I don't buy you this or that you get mad?" Lance was saying to her." Is that all I am to you? Money and things you get. It seems these days that you want something new everyday." He slipped on his t-shirt saying, "what's it going to be tomorrow?" He looked so good standing there in jeans and a white t-shirt. Almost reminded me of the guys back in the 50's and 60's.
She didn't say anything at first. She just stood there looking at her feet. "It's just I really wanted the bracelet. I mean it's a one of a kind and it would mean so much to me if the man I love got it for me." I just had to laugh at that one and I guess I did a bit too loud. Lance looked up at my room and I was so hoping that he didn't see me sitting there. Christy bent down to put on her shoes. She had on her jogging shorts and something that looked like a sports bra. I thought she was going jogging like she always did in the morning at sunrise.
It took all I had not to run down there and put my two cents in. But I didn't. I did however go get a cup of coffee so I could hear better at what all was being said. I guess it was a selfish thing to do. I wanted to find out what my chances were with Lance. So I sat there at the table next to the doors that they were standing near.
"I can't believe I was blind to what has been going on here." Lance was saying. "You stand there and say it would mean so much to you if the man you love would buy it for you. I don't think you love me. I do however, think that you love my bank account." I peeped out the window to see what was going on. Lance did see me this time. "And the bad thing is there is someone who wants to love me for what I am on the inside not for what I can give her. Not for all the money I have or the fame". You could hear the anger in is voice. That's when J.C. walked in and asked what was going on. I told him that Lance and Christy were fighting again and it sounded bad. He got a cup of coffee and sat there with me at the table when Joey came in and jumped on the counter.
"Joey, what the hell are you wearing?" I asked. I think he really liked the reaction he got from me when he wore something really off the wall. I couldn't even describe this shirt to you but I thought it needed a pocket protector or something.
"What, you don't like it." He then heard the yelling from outside. "What's going on out there?" he asked. I proceeded to tell him and J.C. what happened this morning.
"Oh don't you tell me you are interested in that bitch you have staying here sometimes." She said with a lot of anger in her voice. As I looked out the window knowing she was talking about me, you could almost see the stream coming off her in the early dew mist lingering around." I should have known that all those late nights were not about dancing."
"Let it go Jamie. It will only cause more problems." Joey said grabbing my arm. 'Cause I was on my way out the door to let her know who the bitch was. "We all know how you feel about Lance. Just give it time and he will too." I just looked at him.
"You know I hate it when you are right." I said.
"You see Christy, that's were you are wrong. I could only dream that more was going on besides dancing." Lance yelled at her. "You leave Jamie out of this. At least if I was with her, I wouldn't have to worry about why."
"So what are you saying?" Christy asked.
"I'm saying get out of here. Just get your stuff and go. Better yet just go I will send you your things." Lance said and stormed into the house.
I looked at Joey and J.C. and told them I was going home. "We all have a busy day and need to get started." I got out of the kitchen just as Lance was walking in and went up stairs to my room. I had to get out of there and fast. The only thing I could think about was what he said to her and wonder if he really meant it. "I could only dream that there was more going on than dancing." I kept saying this to myself as I took off the boxers and shirt I always sleep in. Looking at the clock and seeing the time was 7:30 I grabbed my bag and keys and ran out the door. I just knew I was going to be late and I still had to go home and shower.
"I take it she heard?" he asked Joey.
"Yeah she heard. Man you need to get over yourself and tell her how you feel." Joey said slapping him on the back. "Good luck!"
"Yeah man, you know that you want to be with her." J.C. said. " And she has never kept her feelings about you hidden."
"I will see you guys later." Lance said looking towards stairs. I guess he was tired of hiding it. I stood at the bottom of the stairs thinking should I go back up or leave. I chose to leave. "Maybe, hopefully we will be late. This is killing us both."
He walked up the stairs and knocked on my door. But it was too late. I was already in my car and on the way home. He opened the door and found the note I left him.
Dear Lance,
|
"Hello," I said into the phone.
"Jamie, hi!" Danielle said. We have become the best of friends. "I was wondering if I could borrow your pink shirt."
"Oh hi Danielle. Sure you can." I said. "Want me to bring it to you on my way to work?"
"Jamie, what's wrong! You sound so upset." She said.
"Long story. Coffee?" I asked.
"Will pick it up on my way over." She said
"Ok. See you then." I said. "Oh, Danielle, thanks!"
"Anytime Hun, bye" she said and hung up.
The thought of having to face Lance in about 3 to 4 hours was a bit scary. After calling work and telling them I was going to be late and I would explain later I didn't know what to expect when I saw him at work. I mean everything was about to be out in the open and I wonder how I was going to handle that. We have become such good friends; I didn't want to mess that up. But has that already happened? Only time would tell I guess and the reaction I get from him at work.
I jumped in the shower before Danielle got there. It was the best shower I've had in a long time. Just feeling the hot water run down my neck and back almost made me forget about what just happened. I almost forgot about her coming over. I jumped out and dried off. Then I went to look outside to see if she was here. She hasn't made it yet and that was a good thing. I went to the kitchen and put some bagels in the toaster and then made my way back in the bedroom to get dressed when Danielle knocked on the door.
"Coming" I yelled. It better be her. I didn't like to answer the door in my bathrobe even though it is really comfortable.
"Hurry, this coffee is hot." She called back.
"Hi! Thank you so much." I said as I opened the door and helped her with the coffee.
"Ok, spill it!" She said. "We have become the best of friends, so you can't hide it from me."
"Well Lance and Christy broke up. I ended up staying over there last night." I said as I went into the kitchen to get the bagels.
"Still having probes with that one move?" She asked.
"Oh yeah! I don't think I will ever get it." I said. "Come on, I have to get dressed. And I will get you that pink shirt."
"So what happened? Did you two, well you know?" she asked me.
"Oh no. But him and Christy are over. And this time for real." I said. I was putting on my clothes when the phone rang. Danielle reached to pick it up. "Don't. Just let the machine get it. You know he said something this time."
"Hi! I'm not here. So you know what to do." Beep, I was holding my breath. I knew it was he.
"Hi Jamie. It's me. I guess you are on your way. Look we need to talk. Please come and find me." Lance's voice come over the machine.
"Jamie, what is going on and what do you mean he said something this time." Danielle asked
"What are you doing today?" I asked her.
"Nothing, why?" She asked.
"I'll tell you on the way. Come to work with me and hang. You know you want to see J.C." I said. Danielle had this thing for J.C and every chance she got to see him, she took it. This was her day off but I didn't want to face Lance alone.
So she came and I told her. I was so scared. "Oh My Goodness" she said. " It looks like this is your chance."
"Well I left him a note in my room. I just didn't have the strength to tell him." I said. "I had to tell him why I left. He knows how I feel."
"You did the right thing Jamie." She said. "He needs to know."
"She is inside Danni. I can't go in there." I said. "There's her car."
"You have too, Jamie." She said. "Let him know how you feel."
"This is not going to be easy." I said. "I'm tired of hiding and I'm letting her know."
I walked into work and all eyes are on me. No pressure here. Then Lance looks up and smiles at me and I felt my heart jump. I could hear her talking to him. Begging him to stay with her. Lance really wasn't listening though. We all could see that. She was telling him how she needed him when something snapped. I couldn't take her BS anymore and I was tired of holding my feelings in.
"What's wrong Christy? Can't find someone else to buy your love. Didn't you guys write a song about this." I said. I could hear Joey laughing in the background.
"Look miss thing, this is none of your business." She yelled at me.
"Oh but I think it is." I said. Joey walked up behind me. "See I know. I know how you tell all your friends that you are dating a member of 'NSYNC. I know how you brag about all the stuff he buys you and the places you two have been."
"You see Christy, we all know that you are using Lance." Joey said. "And now so does he!"
"You stupid witch!" Christy yelled
Lance's eyes got big as he yelled out "Jamie watch out!"
Christy swung and I just stepped to the left out of her way and watched her hit the floor. That floor is really hard too. Danielle looked at me like I was crazy.
"What, I didn't touch her." I said but I should have been paying attention to what Christy was doing because before I knew it my jaw and right side of my face got hit with her right hook. I went flying back and landing right on my back. Before I had the chance to get up and retaliate my bodyguard was on her and taking her out.
Lance walked over to me and touched where I was hit; there was so much love in that touch I felt my heart jump. "Come on Jamie, we need to get that looked at." He said has he helped me off the floor. He followed me through the door and said, "I really want us to talk." I knew that was coming but to hear him say it standing there outside the studio kind of made it real.
I couldn't say anything. I just stopped right there. "I know we do." Was all I could say? Danielle and J.C. came in but I didn't want to hide my feelings anymore. Well, I never really did in the first place. "But not here ok? There are just too many peeps here." I knew I couldn't put it off any longer. I was going to tell him how I felt if it killed me. "Man, she had a strong right hook." I said as I turned to face him.
"Then lets go back to my house." Lance said walking up to me and taking my hands into his. "That way we know we will be alone." There was so much in his eyes that told me to go. That there wasn't anything to worry about and that thing between us would never be the same. We would either go forward as a couple or we would just be co-workers. We would never be friends again. Too much of the truth has come out and now it was up to us to see it through.
All I could think about was talking to him about how I was feeling and spending the day with him, so I agreed and we left. I gave Danielle my car keys and told her I would talk to her later, and then I climbed into the limo with Lance. Now this thing is big enough to be a house it seemed liked. All the seats were black leather and it had a bar and TV in it. This was the first time I have been in his limo.
"Do you want to go see a doctor about that?" Lance asked as he touched my cheek. "It's starting to look bad." And he was right. My eye started to swell and my lip too. But I didn't want to waist my time at the doctors and all I had to do is put something cold on it.
"No, it's just a busted lip. I'll be ok." I said. I didn't know what else to say. I felt like I should have said I was sorry for walking out like I did but nothing else would come out. He got a towel and some ice and placed it on my face to make the swelling go down. "Thank you" I said.
He was sitting so close to me. I wanted to be in his arms to kiss him so bad. Something told me that was going to happen. To this day I can still remember the smell of his clothes. I put my head in my hands thinking I must look so bad right now.
He lifted my face up kissed my forehead and said, "You don't have to be sorry. I understand why you left like that. I think I would have too."
"I know Lance." I said. "but it doesn't make it right."
"We need to stop," he said. That took me totally off guard and I looked at him with fear in my eyes. "We have to stop lying to each other and ourselves." He leaned over and placed his lips against mine and I just fell right into his arms as if I were melting butter. It was a dream come true, everything felt right. It was a kiss I didn't want to end.
"I've known about her for a long time now. Nothing happened between us though." He said. "You know what I'm saying?"
"Why are you telling me this Lance?" I said. "Whatever happened between you two, whatever you two did has nothing to do with me."
"Because the whole time I was with her I felt like something wasn't right? It was like I knew I wasn't surppose to be with her. Like I knew that I wanted to be with someone else. You now what I'm saying?" he was telling me this as in an attempt to let me know how he felt about me. It made me feel like I was somebody the way he was shy about telling me how he felt.
"I think I know what you mean." I said in a whisper. We rode in silence the rest of the way to his house. We really didn't have to say much it was all there in the looks at one another, and every time we touched. We knew how we felt and knew everyone else did. Lance was right, we did have to stop lying to one another.
When we got to his house we didn't go in at first. I loved being at his house. It was so peaceful there. The yard was beautiful. I spent a lot of time walking around and taking pictures. Lance told the limo driver that he could go back to the studio. Then we just walked around holding hands and talking. We didn't talk about what happened this morning or the fight Christy started with me.
Instead we talked about each other's likes and dislikes. We talked about the house, we talked about the pool, we talked about music and we talked about movies.
"I'm more of a horror freak myself." I said. "Don't ask why I just love them."
"What's your all time favorite horror movie?" Lace asked.
"There are so many that I like. But all in all I like the Night Mare on Elm Street." I said. "And all of the Halloweens."
"Yeah? Me too." Lance said. "It's almost 12 are you hungry?"
"No not really." I said. "But I could eat something."
"OK how about this? We order a pizza and watch a movie" Lance asked me as he started to lead me to the house.
"Sounds good to me." I said with a smile. Lance ordered the pizza for us. "while you do that I'm going to go pick out a movie."
I walked upstairs and went into my room first. I wanted to change clothes. Jeans was not something I wanted to wear if we were going to watch a movie. I found my favorite pair of shorts and was looking for a shirt when he knocked on the door. "Come in" I said as I grabbed the first shirt I could see. Little did I know it was one of his t-shirts.
"Thought you were going to pick out a movie?" he said has he closed the door behind him.
"I am I just wanted to change clothes first." I said.
"I haven't been in this room since you moved in." Lance said as he sat down in the chair by the window. He looked at me and smiled as he noticed the shirt I was wearing and continued, "I like what you have done though."
"I really haven't changed it." I said. "And I haven't moved in ." I said looking around. My desk and computer was at the other end of the window. This is where I would talk on the net or work on a paper for school. I had clothes in the closet and dressers, posters on the wall. "Well I guess I have moved in" I said laughing as I sat on the bed. "Hand me those socks please."
"Here you go." Lance said. His hand brushed up against mine and I felt my heart jump. I wonder if that was something he meant to do or did it just happen.
"Thank you. My feet are always cold." I said as I got up to get my dirty clothes up. "Lance, can I ask you something?" I said. I knew if I didn't ask him, we might never get to talk about us.
"Sure" he replied.
"What really happened this morning? I mean what was that fight really about?" I asked. I turned to him with a serious look. I wanted to know where I stand and if the kiss he gave me on the way home meant something. Holding hands while we were walking around his house, did that mean something? I should have asked this question.
"I was wondering when you were going to ask that question." He said.
"Well, are you going to tell me. Or do I have to guess? You were the one that said we had to stop lying. I also think we need to stop beating around the bush." I said as I sat in the middle of the bed.
"I know", he said as he sat down in front of me. Sitting on the bed with him was something I never thought would happen. "You."
"Excuse me?" I said. I looked up at him thinking that I caused all this.
"You." He said. "We were fighting about you."
"That's why she called me a bitch." I said. "And that's why she attacked me too, right?" I was hoping he wasn't detecting the anger in my voice. I didn't want to be the cause of all this.
"Yeah." He said.
"I'm sorry" was all I could say.
"Why are you sorry? She started. I'm not sorry that it happened."
There was a knock at the door. "Mr. Bass, the pizza is here."
"Ok just put it on the counter" Lance said as he opened the door. "And have fun ok. All of you have fun and I'll see you in a few weeks."
"Bye Mr. Bass. Bye Jamie." Mary said. She was in charge of taking care of the house while we were on tour. I love her to death and enjoy every talk I have with her. I walked over and gave her a hug good bye. She started to say something to me in Spanish. "I will I promise." I smiled and hugged her again.
"See you later Mr. Bass." Mary said.
"Bye Mary. And have fun." Lance turned to me and asked if I was ready to eat.
"Not really," I said. "But you go ahead." I turned and walked back into my room and started cleaning. Lance stood at the door and watched.
"What did Mary say to you?" he asked with a grin on his face.
" I can't tell you." I said. "She made me promise not to tell."
"She started the same fight with me last night. The fight she always starts when I tell her no. When she stormed out of the room I followed her." Lance crossed the room and continued, " I knew she was with me for the money. I felt that a few weeks ago if not longer." I felt there was hurt there in his voice. I didn't want to push the issue again.
"We don't have to talk about this if you don't won't to. I know it's hard for you to talk about it." I said.
"It's not as hard as you think," he said. "That's when I made up my mind. She had to go. Guess I knew that all along but didn't want to hurt her you know." He looked so sexy leaning up against the dresser like he was. I had to bite my lip so I wouldn't say so.
"Yeah. I know what you are saying." I said as I lay across the bed. "That makes sense." But I didn't understand. I didn't understand how he could care about someone that was just using him.
"Well, after I had that fight with her I had had enough." Lance said as he kneeled down in front of me. "So I told her it was over. I told her it wasn't fair for me to be with her when I wanted to be with you." He said. My head shot up really fast to face him. So all that has happened so far today did mean something. He took my hands into his. "All I cared about was you. Why couldn't I see it?" he climbs on the bed beside me. "Everyone we know knew what was between us. They knew that we wanted to be together. Why couldn't we?" He brushed my hair back and we lay there facing one another on the bed.
" I did see it." I said. " I knew. I never tried to hide it. I was just waiting on you to see it," I said as I touched his cheek in hopes that he would feel my heart in my touch.
He leaned over and kissed me. Everything felt right. It just fell right into place. We stayed there on the bed till I went to sleep and there we slept. But the best part was waking up and seeing him there.
"Hey you." He said. "sleep good?"
"Um huh." I said as I stretched out. "Too good. I'll be up all night now."
"Well that's good 'cause we do need to practice." Lance said.
"Somehow I knew I wasn't getting out of that." I said.
I wanted this day to go on forever. We went downstairs to eat when J.C. and Danielle came over. I guess they thought we were coming back to work or something 'cause she looked a bit worried when she walked in.
"Here's your keys" Danielle said, "I drove your car here and let me tell you I hate a stick shift. So what are you guys up too." She said to me with a smile then sat at the bar beside me taking a slice of pizza.
"You are such a perv." I said. "What did you think we were doing? Wait don't answer that. We are just having lunch."
After J.C. and Danielle left Lance and I sat on the couch and watched a movie, but I guess Lance didn't want to watch it on account of he was looking at me the whole time.
"What, do I have something on my face." I asked.
"No I just like looking at you." He said. "There was something I wanted to talk about, well it's more like a question. I just don't know how to get it out." He looked down and moves his finger along the diamond shapes on the blanket we were using.
"Do you want me to cut the TV off?" I asked. I knew this subject was going to come up just didn't know when or how. I wanted to know where this day was leading us and didn't know how to ask.
"No, you don't have too." He said as he was rubbing my face so softly I got goose bumps. Every time he touched me I got goose bumps.
"What is it?" I asked as I turned the TV off.
"You didn't have to do that." He said.
"You have 5 HBO's I'm sure it will come on again. Besides I think this is more important than the movie." I said. "So talk to me."
"Well to be honest I don't know where to start." He said kind of shy like.
"Well you could finish telling me about the fight with Christy since I was the main subject you two were talking about." He looked at me funny. "I have to make sure I have just cause to kick her butt. She tore my new shirt you know. Or you could tell me where this day is leading us."
"Well as for the fight it's all over and that is all that matters. I don't want you getting into it with her. You are much better then that. And I don't want to have to come bail you out of jail." He said.
"So what do you want to talk about?" I asked
"Us." He said. He sat there and wiped the tears from my eyes. I just couldn't help but let them out. "There has been something there for a while. Some types of I don't know what to call it."
"I've known that for a long time now." I said.
"So what do you want to do about it?" he asked.
I didn't know what to say. Well I did know, I just didn't know how to say it. So I thought I would see what he wanted to do. I guess I answered the question with a question. "What do you want to do about it?" I asked.
He just sat there for a minute or two. He turned the lamp off behind him leaving a very dim light in the room coming from the fireplace. He never said a word; I just felt his hands slowly encircle my waist and slowly pulled me closer to him. I felt his hand on the side of my face and felt every ounce of my body shake with desire. When his lips touched mine I felt my heart skip a beat. It was the most passionate kiss and there was so much there. I felt every beat of my heart and his.
"I want to be with you" he whispered as he kissed my forehead. "I want to hold you in my arms every night. I want to wake up with you every morning."
I didn't know how to respond so I just pulled him to me and kissed him again. We fell back on the couch. I got a fear that this was going to go farther then what I was ready for. Or was I ready? I have been in love with him for a good while now and isn't that what people do when they are in love? I felt his hand run up my leg and I felt butterflies flutter through my body. I felt his hand move on up to cup my head so he could bring it closer.
"I have wanted to kiss you for so long now. Every time you would go to leave I wanted to grab you and ask you to stay." He said as he ran his hand back down my side and stopping at my hip.
"Is that why I have a room here?" I asked with a smile.
"Well it wasn't the room I wanted you to stay in but yes that's why I suggested giving you one. Wasn't just because of the late nights we would work on the dance steps. Although, it did make a really good excuse to say something," he said kissing at my neck. I laid my head back and let out a soft moan. I could feel him smiling against my cheek and couldn't help but smile myself.
Lance reached for the remote and turned the TV on and pulled the covers up over us. "I say we finish this movie and think about getting some dance time in." He leaned closer to me and kissed my lips. We rolled over into a spoon shape position and before I knew it I was sleeping.
